Monday, April 19, 2010

Paranoia is unbecoming

Here's a recent picture of Tyler.  He's about ten months old now and into everything.  He wants to walk so badly he is pulling up and grabbing my hands to pull up and walk.  Today, he was not well.  He coughed to the point of vomiting and was generally very cranky. He also did not respond to his name and would not look me in the eye.

As a parent with a child who has autism, you become a virtual screener of autism with every kid you meet.  I've looked at maybe fifty kids since Alanna was diagnosed and they are all fine.  I can't help it - I even test them using play so their parents don't freak out.  Tyler scared us today.  We look at him and when he doesn't respond to his name, it brings all of the terror back we experienced with Alanna.  Now, he does a lot of things Alanna never did.  I try to tell myself he is fine, but we watch him like a hawk.  I think we are paranoid, but we just can't help ourselves.  He has a 90% chance of being normal, but that's still pretty bad odds vs. the general population.  Please God, let him be autism-free.


  1. Praying for you and for Tyler tonight.
    "Do not be terrified, do not be afraid, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you may go." Joshua 1:9. (It's our AWANA memory verse of the week - it's on my mind and it seems to be the word you need to hear tonight).

  2. OH Becca,
    I know the fear is real, as it is in your life EVERYDAY...but the way i see it(and pray is true) is that he is just a little boy who is growing up and realizing that he lives in a busy little world and well we all know that sometimes kids just don't listen or care to even acknowledge us. It happens. But it sure scares the crap out of sometimes.


  3. I'm with Robin. And I love that verse. How awesome is it to know that it's still His promise to us. Hope the little dude is feeling better. Love you guys!

  4. I can completely sympathise with you. My eldest was diagnosed just after we had our second boy. No matter how hard I tried not to I analysed every thing my youngest did for the first 18 months of his life and made sure every milestone was met on time (although his brother met every one up until then as well). At 12 mths I made an appointment for him for when he turned 18 mths to be assessed by our paed. As the appointment approached I knew he was fine but still went ahead with it just to hear those words from the paed.