tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609025654658864946.post4975799223207677562..comments2023-07-13T05:08:00.182-07:00Comments on Autistic Wisdom: Social EngagementAutisticWisdomhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01553708099437502270noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609025654658864946.post-49413036960511492492010-09-20T05:15:32.353-07:002010-09-20T05:15:32.353-07:00Slow down and give her opportunities to join you, ...Slow down and give her opportunities to join you, to be competent with you at non-verbal levels. Don't dress her without her *active* participation. Hold the neck opening of her shirt open and sit, silently, but invitingly, waiting for her to shift her attention, her gaze, and notice, and to take her own action to insert her own head. The more silent you are, the more she has to reference you - her attention will change, and improve, then allow her opportunities to join you, to be competent, to be successful *with* you. Don't tell her "good job" - let her competency be the reward - and the more non-verbal interactions you can offer her, the more quickly she'll join others outside her relationship with mom and dad. Allow her opportunities to feel her own body reaching, stretching, inserting an arm into a coat sleeve - she needs to feel herSELF taking an action - and then she will begin to join others without prompting. That's what we experienced when we quit prompting and began slowing to offer more opportunities. Being quiet and stopping the prompting was hard for me because that's what we'd been taught, what we'd done for 3+ years, and I thought that was the only way my girl could learn. (I was wrong.)Pennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03646382031666180357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609025654658864946.post-57442139913510811542010-09-20T04:04:13.403-07:002010-09-20T04:04:13.403-07:00Thanks Penny, good reading. I am just realizing t...Thanks Penny, good reading. I am just realizing that now and it is ironic that I was telling the psychologist and senior therapist the other day sometimes I don't know what Alanna can do because frankly I don't let her try! Then she learns she doesn't need to do it herself.AutisticWisdomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01553708099437502270noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5609025654658864946.post-72721249423253297712010-09-19T17:43:31.940-07:002010-09-19T17:43:31.940-07:00Have you ever read my posts about learned helpless...Have you ever read my posts about learned helplessness and mommy radar? (Read from the bottom up):<br /><br />http://notnewtoautism.blogspot.com/search/label/Learned%20HelplessnessPennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03646382031666180357noreply@blogger.com